Okay... I am a dad of two girls. One is 15 years old and the other is 3 years old. The oldest is from a relationship I had before I was married. She has lived most of her life with me and my wife. My wife has been helping raise her from 1 year old; so, she has always called her mom, mommy, or momma. Her real mom never really helped with anything. Now, she did go and stay with her a few days out of each week, since she was 2. Only because that's the age she was when my wife and I were married. So, all of a sudden she wanted to be mom again.
That's a bit of the back story... There will be more of the story later in other posts... Now today she hasn't been living with me anymore. Some things happened and circumstances have changed. Now that she is a teenager, 15 to be exact, she wants her freedoms and be able to hang out with friends, and such. That's all fine and dandy... at dad's house there are rules.
- be in the house at certain times at night;
- can't stay at friend's houses, unless I know who they are and have met their parents;
- not allowed to be alone with your boyfriends... yes plural, because she changes them everyday (and I have asked her to not get attached to a boy after one day of knowing him)
I don't feel those are unreasonable requests. Am I wrong? Am I being ridiculous, or overbearing? Please, let me know.
Well, when we had this conversation, she left to her mom's house and hasn't been back since; except for a quick visit, maybe a couple of hours. We have asked her to come for Thanksgiving and even said we were having another one on Saturday, incase she was busy on Thursday with other people's houses, but she's too busy to come see dad.
At her mom's house there are no rules. She is her friend and not her parent and I am not exaggerating here. Her mom will post sex jokes and other adult themed stuff and tag her in it. It's embarrassing to me, because my daughter is friends with friends of mine. Hopefully they know I don't condone that stuff with my kids. I am scared how she's going to turn out now. I am afraid she is going to be just like her mother. It scares me.
At my house she was raised in church. She became a gospel singer with my sister-in-law. It seems she has done a complete 180 here. As if she turned her back on God. She hasn't attended church since this all started and she doesn't sing anymore. God gave her a talent to use, and she isn't anymore. I am afraid he will take it away from her.
It's been tough to cope with this. It's been a struggle for everyone here, not just me. This has been going on for over a year now. Her little sister, who she adored, doesn't even know who she is anymore, because she isn't around enough for her to remember her. It's heartbreaking to see.
I know God has a plan for everything, but I don't know what his plan is here. I am afraid this is a situation that she has chosen, and not God. I don't know if I did something to cause this. I always make my choices based on what is right and what is wrong. That way I always make the right choice, even if it will get me into trouble. So, I wish I knew where I went wrong here. It's a true test in faith.
It was a tough Thanksgiving!
I know there's two sides to every story and you're only reading mine. Follow this blog and you will get the whole story later on... There's so much more to this. I'm not looking for sympathy, just understanding and I am hoping that sharing with strangers will be a bit therapeutic for me. I am hoping to hear other people's stories, as well. I know I can't be the only one that has had a rough upbringing and have been dealt a tough hand in life in general. To be honest... I feel that I have turned out to be a good person, in spite of it all.
Please... follow me here and share your story with me. Let me know if you would like me to do a story on you. We can keep it anonymous or not. Or you can just share to just have someone to share with.
I look forward to hearing from you.