Dad's Testimonies

Dad's Testimonies

Friday, November 25, 2016

Thanksgiving Holiday at my House

I know I've been telling my life story here, starting all the way back from my childhood.  I'm going to switch gears here and fast forward to now.  

Okay... I am a dad of two girls. One is 15 years old and the other is 3 years old. The oldest is from a relationship I had before I was married. She has lived most of her life with me and my wife. My wife has been helping raise her from 1 year old; so, she has always called her mom, mommy, or momma. Her real mom never really helped with anything. Now, she did go and stay with her a few days out of each week, since she was 2. Only because that's the age she was when my wife and I were married. So, all of a sudden she wanted to be mom again.

That's a bit of the back story... There will be more of the story later in other posts... Now today she hasn't been living with me anymore. Some things happened and circumstances have changed. Now that she is a teenager, 15 to be exact, she wants her freedoms and be able to hang out with friends, and such. That's all fine and dandy... at dad's house there are rules. 

Like... 

  • be in the house at certain times at night; 
  • can't stay at friend's houses, unless I know who they are and have met their parents;
  • not allowed to be alone with your boyfriends... yes plural, because she changes them everyday (and I have asked her to not get attached to a boy after one day of knowing him)
I don't feel those are unreasonable requests. Am I wrong? Am I being ridiculous, or overbearing? Please, let me know.

Well, when we had this conversation, she left to her mom's house and hasn't been back since; except for a quick visit, maybe a couple of hours. We have asked her to come for Thanksgiving and even said we were having another one on Saturday, incase she was busy on Thursday with other people's houses, but she's too busy to come see dad. 

At her mom's house there are no rules. She is her friend and not her parent and I am not exaggerating here. Her mom will post sex jokes and other adult themed stuff and tag her in it. It's embarrassing to me, because my daughter is friends with friends of mine. Hopefully they know I don't condone that stuff with my kids. I am scared how she's going to turn out now. I am afraid she is going to be just like her mother. It scares me.

At my house she was raised in church. She became a gospel singer with my sister-in-law. It seems she has done a complete 180 here. As if she turned her back on God. She hasn't attended church since this all started and she doesn't sing anymore. God gave her a talent to use, and she isn't anymore. I am afraid he will take it away from her.

It's been tough to cope with this. It's been a struggle for everyone here, not just me. This has been going on for over a year now. Her little sister, who she adored, doesn't even know who she is anymore, because she isn't around enough for her to remember her. It's heartbreaking to see.

I know God has a plan for everything, but I don't know what his plan is here. I am afraid this is a situation that she has chosen, and not God. I don't know if I did something to cause this. I always make my choices based on what is right and what is wrong. That way I always make the right choice, even if it will get me into trouble. So, I wish I knew where I went wrong here. It's a true test in faith.

It was a tough Thanksgiving!

I know there's two sides to every story and you're only reading mine. Follow this blog and you will get the whole story later on... There's so much more to this. I'm not looking for sympathy, just understanding and I am hoping that sharing with strangers will be a bit therapeutic for me. I am hoping to hear other people's stories, as well. I know I can't be the only one that has had a rough upbringing and have been dealt a tough hand in life in general. To be honest... I feel that I have turned out to be a good person, in spite of it all.

Please... follow me here and share your story with me. Let me know if you would like me to do a story on you. We can keep it anonymous or not. Or you can just share to just have someone to share with.

I look forward to hearing from you.


Sunday, November 20, 2016

Surgeries, Drugs, and Alcohol

 My dad didn't stay long, maybe a month or so. It was a good time for me though. I had missed him. My mom and my step-dad never stayed separated long, during those years. After that, I was able to visit my dad in Texas during the summers.

In 1993 I had my first back surgery. I had another in 1995 and '96. They were corrective surgeries for scoliosis and kyphosis. The first two surgeries were the worst. I had to learn how to walk all over again for both of them. I was hospitalized for weeks and then home schooled for months after, since I couldn't get around for awhile. I was only 13 for my first surgery. It was a difficult thing to go through.

Being that I was behind in school now and not able to play sports or other activities, I started to dabble in minor drugs and drinking... and why not... my parents (my mom and step-dad) shared theirs with me. Their motto was, as long as I was doing it at home I was safe. Although, they knew I was finding it other places, too. But they didn't mind, as long as I wasn't drunk or high while running the roads and I stayed wherever I was partying at.

My friends thought I had the coolest parents ever! At times I did, too. Until the fights started and I remembered how much of a butthole my step-dad can be. I felt I couldn't live with my real dad, because nobody would be there for my mom when things got bad with her and my step-dad. Nobody ever really saw what happened when we didn't have people over. When things were going good, it was great, but when he got into his moods, it was awful. I never knew if this would be a night I would have to call the police, because he hit her again.

As I got older I started to realize it wasn't all my step-dad, my mom tended to antagonize the fights, too. The drinking and the drugging was really tearing things up and you never knew what you would be walking into.

I'll stop there....

We were all dabbling in drinking and drugs those days. The parents and the kids. Nobody was innocent. I look back and realize God was preparing lessons for me to learn from those days and the experiences I had. I learned that relationships can't survive if you are always intoxicated. You need God to be the center of your relationship, not drugs and alcohol. The drugs and alcohol tend to be more important than your significant other. God knew that I would witness all this mess and not want that for my life and my kids. I just wish my mom would have seen this, too.

If you have a story or a testimony you would like to share, I would love to hear it. If you would like it shared here and published in Dad's Testimonies, please let me know. I can't wait to hear from you! Please fill out the "contact me" to share your story.

Thank you

My Beginning


 I was born in Arizona and moved to Texas when I was 2. I was raised in Freeport till I was about 8. During that time my dad traveled a lot. I think that's why things fell apart for my parents. They fought all the time. I don't remember much from that time, except a few fights they had, and a little about my brother and sister. I was the baby, so they probably hid a lot from me. 


My parents divorced when I was about 8 and mom and moved to Sweeny, Texas. We lived there for about a year. She met this guy who was wanted by the police. I'm not sure if it was her idea or his, but we moved to California to live with my grandma. It wasn't long till that guy split and my mom met another guy. After being in Cali for about a year they decided to move us again to Tennessee, where his family is from. 


Shortly after settling in Tennessee with his family, they got married, and they found their own place. A small house trailer in a little neighborhood. 


During all this moving around, my dad had no idea where we went. I heard that he knew we ended up in California, but my grandma would tell him we weren't home or I was at a friend's house. Always have him reasons why my mom and I couldn't talk to him. I'm not sure why, all I knew is I went years without seeing him or talking to him and my mom never admitted to keeping me from him and my dad said that he called all the time and threatened to send the authorities after her.
It wasn't till my step-dad started really being mean and hitting my mom till she decided to call my dad for help. At that time I got to talk to him and was able to on a regular basis. Things started to get bad. I wanted to go to church and the bus would come right by our house. Some weeks I went and others my step-dad wouldn't let me. Either my room wasn't clean enough or I was grounded. Actually, that year I was grounded the whole school year for my grades. He always did things out of spite. I never really understood why. 


My mom finally got the courage to leave. I think my dad sent her money to get us out of there and into our own apartment, and he came to visit us. I remember being so excited! It had been 4 years, I think, maybe 5.


I'll stop right there....


At this time in my life when my dad came back into our lives, I was about 12 or 13ish. God wasn't on my mind, but I think he intervened. Maybe for my dad or maybe for us, I don't know. I don't think any of us were living for him, but God knows what needs to be done to get you where you need to be. How to align things to make the right things happen. It may take years or even a decade for you to see how situations play out for you or someone else to see the finale.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Welcome

Hello,

Welcome to Dad's Testimonies!

This is a blog or a journal, so to speak, about my story, my testimony. If certain people read this it could offend them; so I will leave names out to protect their identities. If anybody that knows me and reads this, please do not let the protected identities be known.

I am a saved and forgiven Christian. This is my story of how I reached that destination. I feel God is leading me to tell my story. I am not one to draw attention to myself or want any kind of recognition. I am not one to speak in front of crowds, but in order to reach people and share your testimony, you have to speak up; so this my way of doing that.

My goal here is to reach people and hopefully they can see how you can overcome tough situations. How God can take you out of any situation if you listen to him. If people become their parents or adapt to their surroundings than I should have never been saved, and I wouldn't have the family I have now. I would be an addict, an alcoholic, or in jail, prison, or a rehab.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't come from a horrible family. I love my family, we all have just made bad decisions and our choices were probably for the wrong reasons. Anybody who sins never thinks that their decisions are hurting others, and my family was the same way. But they do...

So... I hope you will stick around and subscribe to my blog to read my stories. These will be personal and hard for me to write, but I hope they will help someone.

I am hoping my readers will share with me, too. Let me know if something has touched you, or even if you have a disagreement with me. I want to hear all your thoughts.

Thank you!